I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
