Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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