I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize