I want to stick my p in your. b.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
