i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
