I skipped work to stalk him.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
