Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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