I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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