Sponge bath it is.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize