I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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