If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
