That's when you crack a 10am beer
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
