Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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