Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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