THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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