i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is Oprah even human
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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