I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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