why didn't you poke me back
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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