she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
