when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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