We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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