Got a toothbrush?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
