8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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