Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
