dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am mentally ready for anal.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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