Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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