suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
this will be a night to untag.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
