I am in a vortex of obligation.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize