Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Randomize
