so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
