what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
