i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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