Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize