I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
