You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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