You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
