Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
