Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
