If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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