We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
