In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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