I wanna passion pit in your ass
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
