i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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