I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
