There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
