the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
