I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I want her autograph on my taint
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
