I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
