I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
where are you?
Hypothermia
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize