Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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