theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All I want is dick and wine.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize