This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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