didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
