he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
