we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize