im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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