she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
