And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
