wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
