Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
