Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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