And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
