I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sext me about skeletons
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize