We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
