This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I will pee on everything he values.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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