You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She bit a glass in half.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
