Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
