I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
