the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
BRING THE BAGELS
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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