Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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