People in love make me want to vomit
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize