just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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