capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize