Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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