Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
